The most common way people give up their power─
is by believing they have none.

-Alice Walker

Gwen ranted on and on─ 

When someone asked her how long ago they were divorced, she answered, “20 years ago”.

Yes, she’s been suffering every day for decades, from something that happened 20 years ago!

It’s been said, that forgiveness gives YOU your power back and sets you free…

But how do you find it in you to forgive─  after all you’ve been through?

These 3 ideas might make your mind more open to forgiveness:

1. Understand─ forgiveness does not mean excusing someone’s bad behavior. There may be no excuse for contempt-filled conduct.

2. Recognize─ true forgiveness is the realization─ that something happened and you gave it meaning!

• What needs to be forgiven is the meaning you gave to the situation.
  Forgiveness is for you─ not for the person you need to forgive. As long as you see this person as guilty, then you’re still a victim, and you’re not yet free.
  
  
• Forgiveness removes his guilt─ thus heals your perception of being a victim.
  He’s not guilty… therefore you are not a victim. Then you are truly free!
  
  
• Forgiveness removes the dagger of disappointment.
  Now you begin to heal. (Just hang in there! This will all make perfect sense soon enough!).

3. Grasp─ that you don’t need to know how you'll find it in you to forgive.

• All you need is a little willingness to see yourself as something other than a victim─ to see yourself thriving again, instead of just surviving!
  
  
• And if you need more motivation, understand that forgiveness can delete and replace unconscious self-limiting beliefs (stuck in your head and heart)─ which can distort your reality... and cause you to see trouble where it's not… or to not see trouble where it's brewing.
  
  
• These hidden, buried self-limiting beliefs can cause you to repeat old patterns─ assuring that the same self-consumed, egocentric guy will keep showing up in a different body, with a different name... and that you keep reliving the same pain─ no matter who you're with.

So, how exactly do you forgive?
Here are just a few ways:

NOTE: You don’t say any of this directly to his face.
You don’t even need to be in his physical presence to forgive.

A woman tells the story of a love affair gone wrong, and the bitterness she was left with.

Through clenched teeth and with just a little willingness to see things differently, she repeated over and over (in her head) like a mantra for weeks─

I forgive you Jim, and I release you to a place of Peace…
I forgive you Jim, and I release you to a place of Peace…
I forgive you Jim, and I release you to a place of Peace…

This worked like a healing balm on her emotional turmoil. It deterred temptation to focus on Jim’s behavior and kept her focused on her own feelings instead.

A few weeks later, Jim called. She didn’t want him back, but to her surprise the resentment was gone!

Here’s another powerful way to forgive:

I forgive you _________________ for what you did to me consciously and unconsciously.

I accept your forgiveness of me for what I did to you consciously and unconsciously. Go in peace, as I go in peace.

Then there’s the ultimate expression of forgiveness.

I offer you peace and happiness.

When you can sincerely, silently say this─ not to his face, but in your mind─ then, you truly have freedom in your heart… then, you are truly free.

The result:

You may suddenly find yourself flooded with peace and happiness─ so you have it to give!