How to See the World You Want to See!
My experience is that the teachers we need most…
are the people we are living with right now.
-Byron Katie
What do you want to see? The power is yours to see what you want!
It's your choice, really.
Let me explain:
➤ UNDERSTAND: The Law of Seeing─
When you look out at the world… what you see is what you feel within.
- If bitterness and resentment find their way into your heart─
you’ll see a hurtful world. - If you feel love and forgiveness within you─
you’ll catch glimpses of kindness and compassion. - If you choose to see a world without an enemy, where you are not helpless─ the means to see it will be yours!
Here's today's Secret Strategy: Your relationship is a reflection of what you feel within.
Yet, you can shift things... You can lead the way to a better outcome. You have real power here!
- The intention you designate for your thoughts─
can be the catalyst for love in your relationship. - The emotions you choose to feel and express─
have the possibility to inspire him to appreciate all that you are…
to value the connection you share.
- That will create better conditions in your relationship.
But how? How do you actually do this?
➤ GRASP: That “What is” right now… is simply the result of past thinking.
Take the lead in your relationship─
1- Choose new thoughts that see beyond “what is” to what you "want it to be”.
2- Hold that vision of love... and act "as if" it already exists in your world right now.
How? Engage your imagination... Consider this─ If your idea of ideale love were playing out in this moment:
- How would you be feeling? (secure and relaxed or defensive and angry)
- How would you be speaking? (in a gentle, soft voice or aggressively)
- What would you express? (patience or intolerance... love or frustration)
- What would your face show? (a heart-felt smile or an insulted smirk)
3- Future-pace your response─ Consciously choose emotions that see past current appearances... Choose behaviors that speak to the truth you want, rather than engage what's in front of you, that you don't want!
In other words, its ok to cut him some slack (rather than immediately going for the jugular, in a knee-jerk reaction). This will not diminish your dignity. Self-regulation indicates your emotional intelliegence; and it offers him a chance at self-reflection.
This higher level response─ draws to you, a higher level of experience! (like honey to a bee!) You literally step into a happier, healthier upward spiral!
Of course, by all means... use discernment─ to see if your partner attunes to your new vision─ to see if he responds with healthy love... If not, then you may have to consider your options.
➤ NOTE: In a healthy love relationship, a woman creates the emotional environment─ and her man follows her lead.
There is a real chance that your partner will stop behaving like the enemy─
(... when you choose to feel friendship… when you seek to be a friend...)
- A real friend is authentic and doesn’t stuff their feelings. (Speak in support of yourself and let him save face.)
- A real friend seeks first to understand, then to be understood. (Step back and look at how he might be viewing this situation.)
- A real friend seeks to correct the situation, not to the other person. (Criticizing and complaining will cause resistance. He’ll stop hearing your words, stop feeling your heart… and most likely attack back!)
➤ RECOGNIZE: True friendship is a wonderful foundation for the deep connection of lasting love!
Friendship inspires patience, playfulness, passion!
Choose friendship… See your love-life clearly today!
I can see clearly now, the rain is gone
I can see all obstacles in my way
Gone are the dark clouds that kept me blind
It’s gonna be a bright, bright, bright sunshiny day!
I think I can make it now the pain is gone
All of the bad feelings have disappeared
Here is that rainbow I’ve been praying for
It gonna be a bright, bright, bright sunshiny day!
Song by Johnny Nash... Click to listen!
"Oh, my husband just came in with a box of fresh, sweet, organic dark cherries… Oh how sweet the gifts of love!”